jokes about saints

Jesus waits for some time and eventually an elderly man walks up to him. They decided it was only fair that they could each have one wish.

See TOP 20 Saints from collection of 359 jokes and puns rated by visitors. A Franciscan and a Dominican were debating whose order was the greater. NFL fans had lots of jokes about Tom Brady looking frustrated during brutal first half. After much deliberation, God sent the following letter: A Jesuit and a Franciscan sat down to dinner, after which pie was served.

Today’s sermon: finding belly laughs in holy places. Impressed, Peter lets him in. Top 20 Jokes about the New Orleans Saints. By Georgy ----- 18010 views.

Do not step on the ducks.

Saint Benedict said: “All the way in the garden of Eden, all that existed was work and prayer, ‘Ora et Labora,’ therefore we are first.” Dominic jumped in, “Hold on. One of the men accidentally steps on a duck. A few days go by.

Three religious bi-curious dudes are driving down a dark and dangerous road. There were two pieces of pie, one small and the other large. Three men die within 10 seconds of each other... ...go to heaven, and are greeted by Saint Peter at the gates. "They're Carol's.".

A bus going to the international religions summit crashes. "I can see that and you're mistaken," replied St. Peter, "Welcome to Heaven you'll be in room 8 but be EXTREMELY quiet."

There is a horrible crash and 50 Pikeys are killed in a bus.

Curious, the man asks: John: "What's the deal with all these watches? I went into the bedroom to find a naked guy hang... read more, ys, "Of course! Young Jesus comes running into Saint Joseph’s carpenter shop... “Daddy, did you call me?”“Ah no, son, I just hit my thumb with a hammer.”.

There might be one or two of these you haven’t heard before. She locked the door and refused to come out.

1 Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me.

.css-tadcwa:hover{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;}Daniel Esparza - @media screen and (max-width:767px){.css-ij9gf6 .date-separator{display:none;}.css-ij9gf6 .date-updated{display:block;width:100%;}}published on 09/26/17, In case you didn’t know, some saints were well-known for having a good sense of humor. Jokes : Why didn’t you do that before the service? "I see that," replies St. Peter, "Welcome to Heaven, you'll be in room 7, but be very quiet." While you were speaking of the Lord, Joe's fares were praying.". The Dominican fell to his knees, adoring the beautiful reflection of the Trinity and the Holy Family. The joke about the priest and an bus driver. The Dominican wished to preach in the world’s largest church, and poof, he was gone! I wan' all thekids to copulate me. ", "Not quite John" replied Saint Peter. "Its simple, as people come up you must check their names to see if they are in this book I have. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. Enjoy a wide variety of funny Christian jokes, good clean jokes, and family safe jokes and religious humor. The Rebe says. Why Pro Athletes Can't Have Regular Jobs... (long but good). Three men go to heaven and meet Saint Peter. Said the Magister.

The Jesuit reached over and took the larger piece for himself.

What do you want me to do?". Add your joke to our site and see how good it is. In the dirt with a broken leg, the pastor called out, “All you saints in Heaven, help me get up on my horse!”. They started walking through a long hall.

We need you. St. Peter laughed, "The Southern Baptists are in room 6, and we don't want them to know that anyone else is here.". Then the Trappist said, “Gee, I already got my wish!”, 20 million users around the world read Aleteia.org every month, Aleteia is published every day in eight languages: English, French, Arabic, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Slovenian, Each month, readers view more than 50 million pages, Nearly 4 million people follow Aleteia on social media, Each month, we publish 2,450 articles and around 40 videos, We have 60 full time staff and approximately 400 collaborators (writers, translators, photographers, etc. Its arms never moved, not even once. Sorry if this joke is really old. awakes to a beautiful Sunday morning after weeks of bad weather.

(Compiled from Ignatian Spirituality, Breaking In The Habit, and FishEaters.com).

If they are then welcome them in, if not, turn them away." St. Peter asks the first man: "You were married, but were you faithful?

Some saints were known specifically for their rich sense of humor. The Jesuit walked up to Joseph, put his arm around his shoulder, and said, “So, have you thought about where to send him to school?”. The Catholics proceed to room 4 and they see all the great Catholic saints and martyrs who welcome them with open arms.

", "What?"

First came chaos!”, A Jesuit, a Dominican, and a Trappist were marooned on a desert island.

"I've done the same thing!

Here are the lawyers', engineers', farmers'...", Saint Peter: "Oh, here it used to be the politicians' watch. He can clearly hear Saint Peter talking to the man. "I turn to her and say," Ma'am, we're doubly blessed today because no flight has ever crashed with me on board either!". The Saints dominated the first half and took a 31-0 lead into the break.

Saint Peter opens the gates, and lets the 3 men in. Before the man can question it, the angel disappears. In the dirt with a broken leg, the pastor called out, “All you saints in Heaven, help me get up on my horse!” Suddenly, an apparition of the Holy Family appeared in front of them, with Jesus in a manger and Mary and Joseph praying over him. They are greeted by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

Remember, I will know if you are lying.

"We only have one rule here, and that is, under no circumstances, can you step on any of our holy flowers. The angel leaves. The old time pastor was galloping down the road, rushing to get to church on time. He waits a moment watches as the man comes in and gets escorted a couple hundred yards away to a palace made of platinum, with golden windows the surroundings made of a metal he had never seem of before. In order for Eden to be created, God had to speak, and so the Word was first. St. Philip Neri, a 16th-century Italian priest, for example, was called "The Humorous Saint." The Franciscan fell on his face, overcome with awe at the sight of God born in such poverty.

"I see that," replies St. Peter, "Welcome to Heaven, you'll be in room 3, but be very quiet."

....who is he going to tell?

The funniest Saints jokes only! The Muslims go to room 7 and they see Mohammad, and the Imams, and all the great prophets and martyrs who welcome their brothers and sisters with open arms.

It belonged to Mother Teresa. exclaimed the pastor. Did you know the reason that you can eat the body of Christ is because he's a baked good?.

By tbimm, November 22, 2009 in Fantasy Football.

God seemed a bit puzzled about the question and told them he would reply in writing a few days later. "I see that," St. Peter replies, "Welcome to heaven my brothers and sisters, you'll be in room 4, but be very quiet."

Heaven Jokes - Christian Jokes. Make sure to share them with your Dominican, Franciscan, Jesuit or Trappist friends. "Well", Saint Peter said. As they speed along they're comparing the lewd details of their same sex encounters when they all suddenly die in terrible crash.When they arrive at the gates of Heaven they see Saint Peter waiting for them with a welcoming smile.As they approach Saint Peter says to the first man. Quizzical, the pastor walks back to the entrance and asks Saint Peter what that gentleman do to get such a exquisite setup.

Francis always taught us to take the meaner piece.” The Jesuit replied, “And so you have it.”, Saints Benedict, Dominic, Ignatius, and Francis were in heaven arguing over which of their charisms was most primordial. Saints joke.

You may have spoken to hundreds of people about the Lord; but they were listening. The old man looks dismayed. But one doesn’t need to go all the way back to the 16th and 17th centuries to find examples of good church humor.

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